sure 90% of you have a twisted view of what DDLG is.
I’m also sure that at least 90% of you have some sort of kink.
Many of them come with their own misconceptions and biases. DD/LG relationships are no exception. If anything, they face more scrutiny than other sexual desires and interests.
If you do a quick search on twitter with the keyword ‘DDLG’, you’ll find tweets like this.
i know but it’s like
feet are weird but generally harmless?
daddy/dom/ddlg just seems borderline abusive me TBQH so
— chaotic stupid 🏳️🌈 (@seriftxt) December 20, 2017
ddlg is so gross why do ppl like to sexualize things meant for children i just…
— jesse (@supermehga) November 16, 2017
Believe it or not, DD/LG is no more obscure than anything else you bring to the bedroom. In fact, it’s unlike a lot of kinks in that its core is not about sexual pleasure. Open your mind and use this guide to see this stigmatized kink through a whole new lens!
DDLG: How Does it Work?
In a DD/LG relationship, there is a caregiving dom role and a childlike sub role. Although the dom provides the same kind of attention and care as a parental role, it does not feel like “incest”.
There are a few variations of DDLG, not all DD/LG relationships involve sexual activities or romance.
One partner plays the role of a dominant figure while the other is plays a more submissive and childlike role in the relationship. The dominant figure can be of any gender or age. It’s all about communication and having the right toy to accompany with it.
DDLG is not:
- for anyone under 18.
- an excuse to discriminate against age (18+), gender, sexuality or race.
- the same as calling your boyfriend ‘daddy’
- Not a reason to laze off for your dom to take care of you
What Does DD/LG stand for?
DD/LG is an acronym for “Daddy Dom / Little Girl”. Essentially it is a new dimension to an existing dom/sub relationship. Variations exist to suit all forms, such as “Mommy Domme / Little Girl” or “Daddy Dom / Little Boy”, etc. but we will use DD/LG as a base form for this guide.
Most who are new to this concept would deem the concept off-putting or even gross!
However, what most people know about DD/LG is all surface-level information. In reality, DD/LG relationships mean different things to different people.
Generally, you could view it as a more “gentle” version of a typical dom/sub dynamic.
Despite how you decide to define it, a healthy balance of trust, respect, and consent should exist. If these three things aren’t present in any relationship, then you’re doing it wrong.
Are there DDLG Rules or Guidelines?
This is the best part…you make the rules! Since it’s your relationship, you and your partner decide how it works.
However, communication is of utmost importance here. Why? It’s normal for our desires and dislikes to alter over time.
When you want to try something new or tweak an existing part of playtime, tell your partner! On the other hand, when something makes you uncomfortable or just plain bored, tell your partner that too!
Just because you’ve had particular playtime preferences for a while doesn’t mean that it’s something you’ll enjoy forever. Our sexual appetites are as versatile as our food appetites.
One day you might crave Chinese so bad you can’t stand it, then not even think about it for a month or two. Maybe you never did like Indian food, but then someone made it “just right” for you and now you can’t get enough!
Sex and kinks work the same way.
Also, don’t hesitate to ask us any questions. We would love to bridge the gap to what may become a new arena of your kinkster lifestyle!
Remember, different strokes for different folks. Communicate well with your partner before starting any sort of relationship or adding a new dynamic to your current one. It’s important to keep in mind that healthy communication requires as much listening as it does vocalization.
What is Age Play?
A major misconception of DDLG is that it borders on the realm of pedophilia and/or incest. This is not true at all. Any responsible kinkster understands that playtime in the bedroom is ALWAYS between two consenting adults.
Sometimes those two consenting adults enjoy a form of roleplay called “age play.” When this happens, the sub usually roleplays a younger, childlike persona while the dom plays an older, authoritative role. Some Littles have a specific age they like to “regress” to during their DD/LG playtime.
However, age play is not a requirement of a DD/LG relationship. There are plenty of DD/LG relationships in which the personas of each person don’t have an exact “age”. It’s all about personal preference!
Family and Friends
Are you wondering what your friends and family might think of your kink?
Guess what? It’s absolutely no one’s business but your own. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
However, if it comes up in conversation or you would like to explain DD/LG, here are simple points to touch on:
- It’s a dimension of your relationship
- One person plays “caregiver” (dom) and the other is childlike (sub)
- Both (or all) parties consent and can slow/stop activity at any time
They might not understand. However, as long as they know that you are safe and it’s all consensual, they can accept that much.
DDLG Nicknames & Petnames
Like every other dimension of the kink realm, petnames are all about preference! Although calling your dom “daddy” or “mommy” can help to maintain the dynamic, you don’t have to.
Some couples just aren’t into it and that’s okay.
But if it works for both of you, stick to the names you like!
Here are a few suggestions:
Appa (Korean for ‘Daddy’)
Papi (Spanish for ‘Daddy’)
Senpai (Japanese for ‘Mentor’/an upperclassman)
Is it all about Sex?
As I mentioned previously, DDLG relationships are not only about sex.
It is a mere addition to enhance your relationship with your dom/sub. It’s no different than roleplaying teacher/student, doctor/patient, or owner/animal.
Some might consider it a lifestyle but most do it in private or casually (once a week).
Is a 24/7 DD/LG Relationship possible?
Unless you are a trust fund baby, probably not.
Since DD/LG relationships require constant care and attention, it can hinder everyday errands and responsibilities. Unfortunately, as adults, we cannot live in fantasy land 24/7 when there are bills to be paid.
Schedule a time period for your kinks to ensure both partners in the relationship gets what they need!
Do you have to like Girly/Baby Things?
Not at all!
This is another matter of preference. If you do happen to like baby type things, more power to you! Ask your mommy or daddy nicely to buy you that shiny new pacifier or fluffy, stuffed bear. If you’re really good, they might say yes!
If you don’t like baby type things, don’t worry about it! Every little has their own things that like to do in during their little time. Playing with toys, sucking on pacifiers, and coloring are not requirements – it’s all about what you want
Do you have to be older to be a daddy/mommy?
Not at all!
That’s the magic of roleplay – the only boundaries are the ones that you and your partner set.
All that matters is that you are consenting adults having fun. If you happen to be younger than your partner, that doesn’t bar you from the “mommy” or “daddy” role. Even if your partner is half your age, you can still be their little!
Can we still have other kinks?
Of course! Mixing it up and experimenting is exciting!
Your DD/LG relationship is just a new dynamic to your sub/dom life. Whether you keep it separate from your other kinks or not is totally up to you.
One night might just be roleplay. Next weekend, you could use puppy play as a “game” to play with your little or use spanking/whipping as punishment. If your little enjoys tickling, you can use that as a reward or game. Your choices are vast and nearly infinite.
With so many options, the only limits are the ones you decide to set.
All that matters is that everyone involved feels good and has fun.
Any Further Questions?
Feel free to leave a comment below. We would love to hear how you define your relationship!
Want to Learn More about DDLG?
Here a video that might help!
New to a DDLG relationship?
If you and your partner are into age play, daddy dom / little girl (ddlg relationships) might be the upgrade you’re looking for. While we generally refer to the relationship as DDLG, there are other variations:
- Mommy dom / little boy.
- Daddy dom / little boy.
- Mommy dom / little girl.
Depending on you and your partner, select the best fit. The key idea is that there is an adult dominant and a child-like submissive.
A Note about Littles
“Little girl” and “little boy” in this type of relationship means an adult that acts like a child. It isn’t a reference to pedophilia or a support of pedophilia. DDLG relationships include two adults who made the decision to be in the relationship.
You and your partner need be 100% comfortable with each other. Communication is key in any relationship, but, in DDLG relationships, it’s rule number one. Being perfectly comfortable with someone also means that you trust them. If you’re not into something, you need to trust that they’ll understand.
You both should trust that the other will respect the agreed upon boundaries and communicate any concerns. Your relationship will quickly fail if you don’t have trust and communication established.
When beginning, use a checklist to figure out what’s okay and what isn’t. Typically, the little will complete it, but, if your dom wants to help, let him! You should already know each other very well. This will get more intimate details and establish boundaries for play, punishment, and bedroom antics.
As the dominant, it’s your responsibility to keep your little safe and happy. This could include anything from comforting her after a bad day to surprising her with gifts. Play with your little and encourage her spontaneity.
At the beginning, you’re both going to move a bit slow, letting your role emerge. Be supportive of any action that lets her little personality shine.
You’re in touch with your inner child, and you’re ready to let her loose. You might want to snuggle stuffed animals or play a game with daddy.
Let your role emerge slowly. You don’t want to put too much pressure on yourself. Listen to your daddy. You’re in this together, after all.
DDLG relationships shouldn’t encompass your entire life. You have to go to work and hang out with friends. You also want your own time. As you become more comfortable with your roles and boundaries, you’ll fall into a routine.
DDLG should allow you to continue with your life. The DDLG aspect is established by you. Whether it’s for a few hours a week or an hour a day. Whatever works best for you two.
Remember to re-evaluate your boundaries regularly. This will keep the relationship fresh and trusting.
Outside of DDLG, remember to spend time together as adults. Like any relationship, you will grow together. This is only one aspect of your life, and you share it with the person you trust the most. Make sure you’re enjoying each other outside of DDLG play.